I just got back from running. Next to the canal at my dad's house. Here in lovely California.
I am now on my way to the hospital.
I used to run regularly. Years and years ago. When I was young and fit. Don't tell anyone, but that may have been why I was so fit. But we will keep that just between us, I want everyone to think it came naturally, effortlessly.
I have elaborated on the 20lbs I have packed on in the last 3 years right? And I told you about how I didn't really want to wear muumuus for the rest of my life? And I said that I was going to have to have a shift in perception to work my way through this?
Well F@#$ all that! I want to eat things and make pretty things with glitter and take pictures and look through cookbooks and organize the basement, and watch my kids play ball and eat things...and I don't want to run or lift weights or eat light frequent meals!
Okay...now that I am done with that, and it's out of my system, I can go on to my higher place now.
In an effort to get out of the muumuus and back in the proverbial saddle again, I have been making better eating choices, (for the most part) and I have been trying to get out once a day and sweat. I either go to the gym, walk Luna up the mammouth hills in my neighborhood, bike to the grocery store, walk to market (and sometimes to the ice cream store) and go to yoga. I love yoga. I have been going once a week for the last month. I want to go more, but the yoga teacher I like only teaches once a week where I work out. I should branch out and try different teachers...but I don't like trying new things.
In yoga the other day, as I was sweating and trying to breath while twisted in some position I haven't been in in at least a decade, the yoga teacher was saying that one of the benefits of yoga is that it pushes us to expand our comfort zone. (If you know anything about yoga you would know that it isn't just about the physical body. It is about all the other bodies as well, the emotional, the spiritual...)
So when the teacher said that yoga helps us to expand our comfort level...I thought, "Are you crazy lady, there isn't anything remotely comfortable about this?!" And once that was out of my system, I could really vibe with that thought, that idea, because from past experience I know it to be true. I know it to be true not just in yoga, but in all my physical activities. Actually, in all my activities.
In addition to my new fitness and health routine, (I have been on vacation since Thursday...it isn't going so well.) I have also been reading a lot and one theme that keeps coming up for me in my books and life is space and matter.
We are mostly made up of space. When we look at our cells, there is very little matter in proportion to space. We have a tendancy here in the Western part of the world to feel the need to fill that space up. Not conciously mind you, but if there is an empty place...we find ways of filling it up. We don't like pauses in conversation, we don't like quiet moments, our homes are filled to bursting with all our stuff, our houses are close together...and if our outer world is cluttered, what does our inner world look like?
I think we could all use some space. And I think that in the world we live in now, we are going to have to conciously create that space. I don't think by just non-action it will be achieved, becasue stuff (and I mean physical, emotional and spiritual) is just swirling around in the ethers waiting to find a home. I think that we need to be vigilant and discerning about what we accept in our lives to maintain that space.
It isn't an easy task...like I said our culture bombards us with noise, images, things, ideas, news, options, choices...and too much of anything is never a good thing.
Space isn't always comfortable, we are not used to it, we haven't been conditioned for it. When there is space, we are out of our comfort zone.
Now me....I mostly need space in my pants, but I could use a little space in all areas of my life. Space to open up to new things to come into my life.
So today when I was running, I was meditating on creating space. Space in my pants, space between my vertebrae, space in my thinking, in my feeling, space in my lungs, and space between me and the guy chasing me!
This creep kept yelling things like, "Where are you going?" "Why are you trying to get away from me?" "You are going to have to run faster than that if you don't want me to catch up!" "Hold on...I have to tell you something!" "Hey...wait for me at the top of the hill!" "I'm right on your tail!" "I love you!"
I turned around and told that guy..."Shut up Marcus...I am trying to run here!"
Some people are just sick!
Anyway...I think that I created a little space today in my life, and I like it.
Today...see where you might create a little space in your life. Make space in your home, in your fridge, in your lungs, in you mind, in your relationships, in your garden beds, or maybe even in your heart...goodness knows we could all use some space there!